Comfort Zones are Overrated!

I poisoned myself this nice Holiday weekend.  Not intentionally of course.  It's just that I got comfortable in my eating and when one gets comfortable, one gets sick.

It was completely innocent and in reality it was an all Gfree dinner made by me.    Here's what I had:


A baked potato with shredded chicken, pepper jack cheese, sour cream and a little poison butter.

First symptom- massive headache.  I mean like migraine status on crack.  It felt like my head was going to pop off of my body.  Second, followed the 'unmentionables' (these are bathroom symptoms I will spare you from) and then lastly fatigue.

I racked my brain all night trying to figure out the culprit.   My daughter, bless her heart, jumps on the Internet while holding the sour cream looking up the ingredients. Nothing.  Everything was safe.  

So what do you do when you can think of nothing to blame?  You blame your husband of course :) 


Me:  "Steve-- I think you had gluten on your lips when you kissed me." 
Steve:  "Sure Roxanne, as usual just blame me."

Needless to say, I went to bed (half believing it was the kiss) and was up most of the night in the bathroom. *Yawn

This morning it was like an epiphany hit me.  As soon as I opened my eyes my very first thought was--- IT WAS THE BUTTER!!

REWIND...That morning I made my Non-Gfree 5 yr. old some toast.  I used a knife and cut off a sliver of butter and then went back for another.  When I cut the second piece, what was on that knife?  Crumbs from the toast (aka poison).

FAST-FORWARD...I take out that same stick of butter, take a healthy chunk and mash it into my potato.  

I've just contaminated my entire dinner.

That's all it takes folks. A little bit of toast crumbs to ruin your night.  It's ridiculous to think about.  I mean, who would believe something like a flippin' stick of butter with tiny crumbs would have me in misery for hours?  And I mean HOURS!  My Non-Gfree friends would say, "No way---just a few crumbs?"  Yes way, just a few crumbs. 

So now I break out of my comfort zone and go back to evaluating EVERYTHING I eat and drink.  My health can't afford absent-minded mistakes like that! 

You Have What?

I've been getting this a lot lately.  From friends, associates, co-workers, family, you name it.  Go figure, right?   

Here's how the conversation typically goes:

THEM:  "So I heard you are allergic to gluten".
ME:       "No, I'm not 'allergic'.  I have Celiac Disease and I cannot consume gluten".
THEM:  "Oh, so it's like a food allergy.  Do you break out in hives or something?"
ME:       "No.  I don't get hives, and it's not a food allergy, its an actual disease."
THEM:  "How old are you? You just got this?"
ME:       "No, I'm just making the entire thing up...YES, I just got this!"
THEM:  "Well you ate it before, a little bit can't hurt right?"
ME:       "Would a smack in the head, nausea, vomiting, migraines and vertigo hurt you?"

Yes, I really just did get the diagnosis.  It's been 1.5 months and I learn more and more everyday.  And the most profound thing I've learned is that MOST people have no idea what it is, including medical professionals.

Here's an alarming statistic I recently read: 

The number of Americans with Celiac Disease would fill 936 cruise ships. Passengers on 908 of the ships don't even know they have it.

If that doesn't make you want to sit up and take notice, I don't know what will.

In a nutshell Celiac disease damages the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. People who have Celiac disease cannot tolerate gluten, a protein in wheat, rye, and barley. Gluten is found mainly in foods but may also be found in everyday products such as medicines, vitamins, lip balms, make-up and toiletries.

I hope you are now asking yourself, "What are the signs and symptoms and could I have it?"

I wish it were that easy.  There are over 200 associated symptoms to Celiac disease.  It varys with age and it's very deceptive.  In adults, it often goes undiagnosed for 5 or more years, and there is no 'magic' age for being diagnosed. 

Here were my symptoms:  Fatigue, headaches every day, upset stomach as soon as I woke up, constant vertigo, tingling hands and feet, shedding hair, nausea, vomiting, loss of focus, distended stomach.

Here were the tests my primary physician ordered over the course of almost 2 years:  Abdominal ultrasound x2, pelvic ultrasound, abdominal CT with contrast, chest CT with contrast, EKG, echo, numerous xrays, a stool sample, and CBC blood panel.  ALL SHOWED NOTHING.  Well, they showed my organs, but you know what I mean.

In a perfect world everyone would be given a Celiac blood panel.  Doctors don't wait until you have a heart attack and are dead and then decide to run cardiac blood and diagnostic tests on you. So why wait to test for Celiac?

We live in a world where most Doctors treat symptoms.  I was prescribed Vicodin, Percocet, Naprosyn and Motrin for pain and inflammation, GasX and Prilosec for stomach issues, Meclizine for vertigo and Imitrex for migraines.  All of this to treat the symptoms I list above.  I didn't take half of it.  Who the heck can lead the busy lifestyle I do while walking around on Vicodin and Percocet all day?! Not me!

We also live in a world where pharmaceutical companies control research and funding. You ever wonder why you are always being pushed 'the new drug' when you go to the doctor?  "Let me give you a sample...".  Or you are always prescribed something for one of your symptoms instead of them actually looking for the source of your pain?   Because Pharma reps bring nice big lunches and frappuccinos to your medical office and get your Doctor to push you that next new drug they are promoting. 

Well guess what folks- there is NO DRUG that fixes Celiac disease.  It can only be treated by diet.  So why should they spend money researching Celiac disease when they can't make a pill for it?  And why should your Doctor test you for it if he can't prescribe a pill and get the kick-back?  Did the light bulb just go on?  I hope so.

So if you are frustrated that you feel like crap and don't know what's wrong with you, ask your Doctor to run a Celiac blood panel on you.  And if they tell you "I don't really know much about Celiac Disease", which is what my Mother was just told at her doctors office, request to see a Gastro specialist.  Hey...at least the guy was honest!



 

Boudro's was Banging!

I've been back from my San Antonio weekend vacay for what, a week now? Yup.  So why am I still thinking about Boudro's? Cause it was banging!

Boudro's on the RiverWalk

Have I eaten out since being back? Nope.  I've tried, but people act soooo put out by special requests that I just end up walking out.  'Oh, I'm sorry.  Let me not bother you with my dietary needs'.  You've just lost a customer and a fat tip!

So back to Boudro's.  I think it's important to tell the story just in case other Celiac folks find themselves on the RiverWalk and want to know where to eat safely :)  Click here to see my post about Biga's, another great place.

After making it through Fiesta traffic (phew) we step into Boudro's, get seated and our waitress is Sarah.  A godsend.  This girl knew her stuff!  As soon as I went into the dreaded spiel about my needs she immediately put me at ease.  She went through the appetizers and salads to let me know what was safe for a Celiac and what was not. She also let me know she could do just about anything on the dinner menu with modifications.

First up: Table side fresh guac and chips.  Did I mention I love chips?  LOVE THEM.  My Mother is still confused about my crazy love for chips.  These chips are made solely from corn and the guac was amazing.  Who would of thunk to add a squeeze of fresh orange? Mmmm! Enough said.

Sarah whipping up some magic

Sarah suggested the Tomato Salad which was another hit. Yummy gorgonzola cheese, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, fresh basil and red bermuda onions.  I love tomatoes and I love onions.  

Yummo Tomato Salad

My weekend was not intended to be a seafood themed occasion. It's just that I ALWAYS eat chicken. All the time!  California seafood isn't always the best.  I mean-- it just can't hold a candle to Jersey Shore seafood. But that's just the truth my opinion.  With that said, I was pleasantly surprised by the  Texan seafood!

For dinner I ordered the Wood Grilled Atlantic Salmon.  Traditionally it comes with a creole mustard butter, garlic mashed potatoes and roasted veggies.  Now Sarah said something in there wasn't safe, (can't remember what) so if it was ok, she would modify it with other sides.  I have faith in you Sarah...do your thang girl!

Wood Grilled Atlantic Salmon~ modified.

Now the pic just doesn't do the meal justice. It smelled so good that I started eating before I remembered I now take pics of everything I eat (with weird looks from other patrons).  My substitutions were roasted potatoes, veggies and sauteed fresh spinach in garlic and lemon.  Very, very delish!  I couldn't even finish it there was so much food.  But not to fret - we have a food vacuum with us and he cleaned everyones plate!

Just as I was finishing up my Chopin and Tonic (my go-to drink) here comes Sarah, pointing out what I can have on the dessert menu. I don't usually order dessert.  I mean, who can when you have a husband that requests the check midway through eating the main course.  But Steve was home and holy guacamole they had G-Free Creme Brulee! My most favored dessert ever!  Again, I cracked into it before taking a pic.  Who could wait?! I ate half and gave the other half, reluctantly, to the vacuum.

Gluten Free Creme Brulee

Now, you'd think Creme Brulee would be safe.  There are minimal fresh ingredients.  But for some whack reason there are restaurants out there that add flour.  Big no-no.

I miss you Biga and Boudro's.  There's nothing better than a restaurant with knowledgeable staff, a fabulous Chef that cares about dietary restrictions and an all around place that pays attention to detail!

Now somebody give Sarah and the Chef a raise.  She's a ROCKSTAR!

Boudro's website is here and their guacamole recipe is here.  Feel safe and enjoy! (We felt so safe we went back the next day for lunch!)

Feeling Good at the Alamo!

Life has become VERY different since learning of my Celiac dilemma.  It makes meetings, conferences, social situations and travel just a tad bit difficult.  Wait...that's putting it too nicely.  What I really want to say is - it's a big fat pain in the arse!

I'm visiting my peeps for the weekend in San Antonio - nothing beats meeting half way...actually it's closer for me :)  I've been very apprehensive since arriving and even packed my own little gluten free snacks- avocados, and fruit, and rice cakes, and turkey pepperoni... well you get it.  I'm actually surprised they didn't have security at the airport confiscate all my food!  But if my Mom could make it on with scissors I could definitely try and bring food!  I mean what am I going to do--crack you with a rice cake?!

So, I make it in (with all my food) and after cruising the beautiful River Walk we head over for dinner at Biga on the Banks.  This folks, is why I am currently sitting in the Business Center at our hotel blogging because I can't stop talking about how wonderful our service was! And more importantly, I did not get sick!




Biga on the Banks, San Antonio

 As soon as we were seated, I talked our waitress Gigi about the gluten free options. She politely assured me that I could order anything and that the Chef will make it gluten free.  They do not want to limit their guests to a 'gluten-free entree list', but instead have the chef prepare what you'd like to eat and meet your dietary needs. At this point I was feeling REAL skeptical.

She went above and beyond to reassure my fear of being glutenized. She even asked if it was ok to bring a bread basket to the table for my Mom & Terry.  I'm ok looking at the bread (not really) and I certainly do not want to deprive others from the wonderfully smelling gluten basket...I mean bread basket :) But it was a little tough for this prior breadaholic.




The really great smelling enemy

 Mmmm...doesn't that look good?! To help distract me from the bread, I ordered a Chopin & Tonic with extra lime.  Chopin has a great potato vodka for us overly sensitive celiacs. I liked it so much I decided to drink my Mom's and ordered her a Bellini instead!



Chopin Potato Vodka



Gigi came back over to take our order and was great at assuring my neurotic self again that all would be ok.  I mean come on...I'm on vacay.  The last thing I want is to be laid up glutenized while the Fiesta parades are taking place!

I decided on the Pan Roasted Texas Redfish.  Here is a pic of what the menu detailed~

Pan Roasted Texas Redfish

Again- the Chef will take whatever you order and create a gluten free version for you.  Yes-- without using glutenized utensils, or pans, or dishes.  Because you know I asked!  Here is a pic of my dish~



Never knew gluten free looked so good!



The only thing missing was the roasted poblano (which is why I wanted the dish to begin with) but it is lightly dusted with flour which is a big no-no.  Let me just say- OMG!  This was the best meal I have eaten since being diagnosed with this crap a month ago.  And even without the poblano, it was seriously DELISH!

Gigi brought over the dessert menu and graciously informed me that she would happily make me a G-free berry dish with fresh whipped cream. You have to know that I would have much rather eaten the cobbler Terry ordered, but it just isn't gonna happen! 



Berries and Cream



So here's to some very big props for Biga!  It was a super nice place, with great attention to detail and the conversation could not have been better :)  Now-- let me get back to the Fiesta!

Cup of Pesky Weed Anyone?

I'm talking about Dandelions people.  Get your mind out of the co-op's.

Over the past week, my chore of scouring websites and blogs looking for a coffee alternative finally paid off.  I found one!   (Start Clapping!)  If you're curious why I can no longer drink java see my older post labeled, My Dearest Coffee

The company is called Teeccino and they're located in Santa Barbara so shipping was quick. They offer herbal coffee alternatives that are "roasted and ground to taste just like real coffee".

My package arrived and I never thought I would be so excited to have a drink of dandelion!  I took it to work today and received a few looks of desperation.  "Did you just say dandelion??"  "Uh, yes."  Their response (specifically Mrs. Willia) was "Okaaaay."   Yes, it sounds strange but it's like this- I can give up EVERYTHING, except coffee.

Here is the packaging.  Looks like coffee; smells like coffee (a bitter version); and tastes like, well...almost like coffee!  You can definitely taste the chicory which I'm perfectly ok with.  Hey--it's the best I'm getting at this point and it's taking the edge off (we all have our vice).

Since I don't want to deal with the tiniest bit of possible cross-contamination, I don't use my Keurig for it.  I guess I could use the one I have at work but then I'd have to bar my lovely co-workers Donna & Joyce from using it.  So I use a french press.  Here is a pic of the one I bought from Target.   It's by Bodum, it's a travel press and it gets the job done.

Seriously, it's not bad at all.  Even though every time I take a sip, I think of my Mom making me pull those pesky weeds out of the flower beds @109 when I was a kid.  Who would have ever thought that I'd be drinking them!  But, from what I've read they have great health benefits.

The only thing that's missing is the caffeine.  But that's Teeccino's purpose for making this product- to help people adjust from a non-caffeine acidic coffee lifestyle.  To wake me from zombieland I have a cup of the highly caffeinated Teavana Java Mate.  Then I have a cup of the dandelion roast.  I miss the taste of coffee more than the caffeine so it's all good.

If your curious about the price point, it isn't bad.  Same price as a lb. of coffee at Starbies.  Also--the dandelion roast is gluten free.  Their other 'coffees' contain barley which is a big no-no for Celiacs or those that are sensitive to gluten.

Cheers to a hot mug of dandelions!

teeccino.com

Great Recipe from my good friends over at Totally Grain Free

I am on the go constantly.  I do not have time to create wonderfully lavish G-Free omelettes in the morning with freshly chopped veggies. And I can only eat so many hard boiled eggs.  Now don't get me wrong, I'd much rather have a bowl of wonderfully warm and yummy Cream of Wheat.  But what's that last word - WHEAT. 

It makes me so sad :(

So, when I saw the artichoke and spinach quiche cup recipe from Amy and Marion's blog I thought, 'Wow! This looks pretty good!'  Well... not Cream of Wheat good, but it will definitely break up my hard boiled monotony.  And, I can make them in advance and have them for the week.  Can't beat that!

Making them tonight!

Here's the link to their recipe:

Totally Grain Free by Amy and Marion: Totally-Grain-Free Spinach & Artichoke Quiche Cups...:

My Dearest Coffee, I Miss You.

For those of you who know me personally and just let out a big "HUH?!" go ahead and close your mouth and keep reading.  I hope you feel my pain. No... I KNOW you'll feel my pain.

Gluten.  It's in my food, it's in my makeup and it's in my shampoo. It's attempting to destroy my social life and shopping excursions. Not to mention future travel.  But you couldn't stop there though could ya Evil-G?!   (Yes, I'm talking about gluten as if its a villain). You couldn't leave well enough alone.  You had to take it 'there'.  You messed with my COFFEE!

Here is the video that did it for me:  Coffee and Gluten Sensitivity

I seriously wanted to cry.  Actually, I did get a frog in my throat. Ok, maybe my eyes watered a little. The short of it: the protein in gluten mirrors coffee so you suffer the same reaction.  It really depends how sensitive you are and it turns out that for whatever reason...I'm hypersensitive. And I have no choice to avoid it because I have to heal my stomach.

This is big. I'm gathering that you don't realize the magnitude of this people! I'm the person that shows up to BBQ's and potlucks with coffee creamer!   I love coffee.  I actually have a personal relationship with my Keurigs.  (Yes, that would be plural).  I also happen to know where Starbies are located throughout the State of California and where they are in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland and Nevada.  It's what greets me in the morning (besides my husband) and is my dessert at night (my husband will think he needs to be in parentheses after the dessert part).

I find comfort in the smell, taste and temperature of coffee and I find it to be a must-have accessory when I am out and about. Coffee is a warm conversation that brought a smile to my face.

BROUGHT...past tense.

So what do I do? What I do best.  Get my happy arse on the internet and try and find something, anything, that tastes like coffee.  I even head out to my local Teavana Store and embarrassed my daughter by asking the guy, "Do you sell tea that tastes like coffee"?  Now she thought it was insulting that I ask them this. But, his reply? Wait for it-------"Yes, we do".  YEAH!

 Promenade Teavana

We spent more time than she would have liked in a "foo-foo tea store" but desperate times call for desperate measures.  He kindly brewed us up some Java-Vana Mate tea that boasts 'the same amount of caffeine as coffee'.

Gluten Free JavaVana Tea

It wasn't bad.  It wasn't coffee, but it would definitely give me the kick I needed in the morning.  It was much stronger than the Celestial Seasoning Morning Thunder I had previously found which, by the way,  lacked any or all 'thunder'.  The next morning (after I attempted the brewing contraption and spilled it all over myself) I remade the $20 tea (oh, did I forget to mention that it's a bit pricey but for the taste of coffee I bought it) and I added some coconut vanilla creamer hoping it would get that creamy coffee taste.

It did, sorta.

It's definitely wishful thinking on my part, but crap!  It's gonna have to do for now!  At least until I get my 'coffee alternative' I ordered in the mail.

(As a note ~ Teavana teas are now all gluten free)

Dear Sephora...

Temecula Promenade Sephora

Please Train Your Artists.

I'm sensitive.  To gluten that is.  Now I'm not going all out crazy, but hey, I do lick my lips and noticed that something was still making me feel sick.  The culprit was one of two things: my lip gloss or my eyeliner.  It is said that in a woman's lifetime we consume about 4 lbs of lipstick.  I believe it.

And, since I apply eyeliner to the water line of my eye, eyeliner made with gluten could potentially be absorbed there as well.  I set out to investigate.  First stop: Macy's at the Promenade.

Now this gluten thing isn't new. But you would think it if you experienced what I did. It amazed me how most make up brands had absolutely NO IDEA what gluten was or if it was in their product.  I stopped at Benefit, MAC, Lancome, Bobby Brown, Clinique, Shiseido, Bare Minerals and Dior.  Ok, how do you walk around in your little white doctors coat Clinique ladies and not know what I'm talking about?!  I had to actually explain to them that Vitamin E is extracted from wheat germ most of the time and explained the byproducts of gluten that could exist in their product.  Only the Lancome rep knew what I was talking about and that's because she has an autistic son who follows the GF diet.   But - at least they said "I don't know."

On to Sephora, where I was met by a lovely artist who claimed that Hourglass was gluten free.  Here's what I bought: Hourglass Lipstick in the color Grace.

Grace by Hourglass

Hourglass Cosmetics

I don't know about you, but I'm a makeup junkie and get a rush when I purchase it (that or Pandora jewelry).  It's such a lovely thing to walk out of the store, happy about a purchase to beautify :)  There I am, gloating and cheesing with my new lipstick on and then it happens...within 5 minutes.  My stomach starts hurting.

Now of course I don't want to believe that its the lipstick.  I start going over in my head what I've eaten but its not adding up.  And I'm still in denial.  Until I call Hourglass and talk to their customer service rep who nicely explained that yes, there is gluten in their lipstick.  Grrrr!  I returned the lipstick and got a store credit until I can sit down and research all of the ingredients myself.  But I cannot begin to tell you how frustrated I am with this.

In the meantime, I have found some gluten free cosmetics at Sprouts Market.  It's called Mineral Fusion and it's paraben free, talc free, hypo-allergenic and gluten free.  They don't have many colors, but it will do for now. I purchased their lip gloss and eyeliner.

Gluten Free listed on packaging of Mineral Fusion

Mineral Fusion Lip gloss in Gleam

Gluten, go away!

I've been Gluten Free for two weeks now.  In that time I've read three books and countless web pages.  I know more about gluten and Celiac disease than I thought I'd ever know.

And what do I know the best?  That gluten is in just about EVERYTHING.  Not just food (think bread, cookies, pizza, pasta) but also some lotions, toothpaste, deodorants, shampoo, conditioner, hair products, medication, spices, and makeup (post coming next on my makeup drama).

For those of you passing by and wondering what I'm talking about and what gluten is, here's a quick breakdown:

Gluten is a protein that is found in grains such as wheat, barley and rye.  A gluten free diet is used to treat people with Celiac disease.  When gluten is consumed, it causes inflammation in the small intestine and brings on a plethora of problems.  The disease cannot be cured, but can be controlled by a strict diet.  And most importantly, it's not a food allergy.  Celiac is an auto-immune disease and shouldn't be taken lightly.

I struggle everyday with this crap. But I'm positive that it will get better.

There's an App for that...

So I download an app at the urging of my daughter called Gluten Free Registry.  It basically tells you which restaurants offer gluten free menu items according to your location.  Since we were venturing down to DSW for some shoe therapy,  I nervously used the app to find us dinner.  This place was

conveniently located in the same shopping center near UTC La Jolla.   

Z Pizza La Jolla

I reluctantly enter and ask about their gluten free pizza.  I begin my interrogation of "where do you prepare it;  what utensils do you use; where is the dough placed; where does it go in the oven; how do you avoid cross-contamination, yada yada yada."

Let me say this- the staff at Z Pizza were very patient.  I was acting like a paranoid gluten freak! Did ya not read my last post about Claim Jumper? See, I have reason to be! They quickly put my fears to rest.  First they wash their hands and put on gloves. They take the pre-made crust out of the back and begin to prepare your pie in an uncontaminated area.  It's placed in a metal dish and the toppings of your choice are put on.  When they transfer it to the oven they leave it inside the dish and place it off to the side.

When it was ready, the guy put on new gloves, removed it from the oven and placed it in a small box.  Since we were dining in, they brought it to our table. I looked at it in silence.  Looked at my daughter and looked back at the pizza. "What!" she says. Just eat it Mom."  Easy for you to say.

Here goes...

I took a bite, yum, and all went well! The pizza-maker-guy came by the table twice to ask how I felt.  How sweet.  I mean, do they ask ya how you feel at Domino's? Pizza Hut? Nope. I really liked this place.  I'm not a big pizza eater since I try to avoid carbs which is really a whole other talk show...or blog post :)  But when your kids are starving and you're trying to find something quick, this place will definitely be on my go-list.

Glutenized by Cross-Contamination

FEAR.
Who would have ever thought that I'd be scared of food?  Well, it all started with Claim Jumper.  I was so excited (insert yeah!) to find that this gluten thing may not be so bad, right? WRONG.  Ya see just because someone offers a 'Gluten Free' menu does not mean that they take measures against cross-contamination.  

Now let me be honest. When I first read that a crouton could contaminate an entire salad I thought it was the silliest thing ever! Seriously??  But that's how Karma catches me.  I decided to order GF Chicken and Veggie Kabobs.  Seems safe right?  NOT!  Ten minutes after eating, I felt horrible.  Symptoms returning at a fast rate, stomach distended, bubble guts and a headache.  That quick. It was then that I read in very small print on the menu, "Cannot guarantee against cross-contamination."

Ok, then why the hell do you bother to offer a GF Menu?!  I don't know what was worse.  Being glutenized or realizing that eating out is not going to be as easy as I thought.

The best co-workers ever!

When I learned of my diagnosis I called work to share it with my close friends.  When I came in the next morning I was greeted with gluten free signs and snacks.  I truly work with special girls!

Gluten Free Snacks

The door to my office :)

The 'Big Day'

I'm starting a blog.  I've been fighting it for years.  I've played with the idea of fashion, make-up, photography, children, and never got past the real idea of it.  Then one day I'm told "I think you have Celiac Disease."  Two weeks later I decide -yup, it's time for a blog. I've got to share this craziness with others! Now reader, be patient cause I'm gonna walk ya through this.

Around January 2010 I noticed that I just didn't feel like myself.  I was tired, had headaches, constantly dizzy, my stomach always hurt, and I felt as if I had brain fog.  Every doctor I saw gave me a new prescription.

• You have headaches--here take Imitrex
• You have vertigo--here have Meclizine
• Stomach issues, you have reflux-- here take Omeprazole
• You have chest pains--it's all in your head.

By November 2010 I was referred to GI for a stomach issues.  The Doctor comes in the room and sees me all of 3 minutes and says, 'Yup-you have reflux.'  Seriously?  That's all ya got? In your pompous deameanor you decide my fate without listening to my symptoms or descriptions of pain?  Ok, I'm outta here!

Fast forward to a really frustrated March of 2012.  I just turned 40. I'm desperate.  I am walking around with a distended stomach, headaches, a feeling of 'living in fog' and the scariest symptom yet--what I call the tinglies.  Tingly feet and fingers.  I'm sick of feeling sick.  I don't bother telling anyone how I feel cause I've just chalked it up to the 'norm'. Looking back, I felt like I succumbed to the fact that this was just how I would feel for the rest of my life.  "Is this what 40 feels like?"  Then it hit me.  This Jersey girl is NOT giving up the fight!

I march right back into the Doctor and this time I am not so nice.  I unfortunately had to become ghetto rude. Me, rude? Yes, it happens.  I demanded testing.  "I want blood tests, I want a barium swallow, I want an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. I even want to be checked for parasites.  Something is wrong with me!  AND-- don't ask me to see the asshole you sent me to the last time!"  Sorry-- I had to take it there and I think that's what worked its magic. I think he was a little scared so he gave me what I wanted! LOL

On March 13th I had my barium swallow. YUCK. Results revealed a hiatal hernia.  Yes, this is where my chest pains came from. And yes, I TOLD the a-hole Doctor I had this too, but did he listen? NO!

On March 28th I get wheeled in for my scopes and as they are putting me under, my Doctor says, "Your blood tests are back and they all look good...oh, wait."  Wait?! Wait, what?  At this point, I'm getting drowsy, and confused.  He looks as confused as I do and as the nurse is telling me to start spelling my name (what they do when they give you a sedative) he says, "It looks like you may have Celiac Disease."  That's all I remember because I am then in sedated la-la land.

When I woke up, the first thing I heard was-- does anyone know where her husband is?  I thought to myself -- somewhere watching golf channel.  Did you check the other floors??

They finally find him and the Doctor comes in.  I go home with a probable diagnosis of Celiac Disease that will be solidified once the small intestine biopsy comes back. Celiac? What the crap is that? He tells me to no longer consume gluten. Ummm...what's gluten??  We leave and I go right home and buy Celiac for Dummies.  The first of many Kindle purchases.

So there ya have it.  March 28, 2012 was a defining day for me.  I knew what the biopsy results would be. After reading the book, I had all the symptoms.  And as I guessed, the biopsy was positive for Celiac Disease.  I made the decision that day to change my diet for life because at the end of the day it was my life.  I just didn't know how RIDICULOUS this celiac life could be!